"The Situation"

I am looking for a job as an intelligence analyst.  For the stars to align on this for me, I need two things:  1) a Top Secret security clearance, and 2) the defense department needs to be hiring people.

Presently, we're looking at 'Code: Fugghetaboutit' on both... but we can wait patiently for the defense spending bill to be back on the table and we'll reevaluate again from there.  (That's about 3 to 4 months from now).

The good news:  It's not impossible.  Nothing is impossible (except for maybe the Wendy's Value Menu challenge).  There is the occasional agency opening or defense contractor project that still has funding, and if you know/meet the right people at the right time you can catch wind of these opportunities.

The bad news:  The fact remains that the jobs are few and far between.  This is particularly true if you don't have a clearance or experience in intelligence analysis or intelligence collection.  And the catch-22 is that, more often than not, only jobs with a clearance can lead to other jobs with a clearance (same correlation goes for 'experience leads to more experience').  So in essence, right now, this is one of the hardest job markets to break into... sadface.

It's just not the same market it was 5, 6 years ago when the federal government was eagerly snapping up promising young minds based solely on their college degrees and potential, pumping them through the cluster that is usajobs, and churning out class upon class of top secret do-gooders.

I am still applying for these jobs as I come across them, but my two biggest complaints about the process are as follows:

1) Many of these 'job postings' are not actual jobs... it's more like the 'idea of a job'.  This is a common practice when hiring within an organization is uncertain, but when usajobs says that there is an analyst position and it is posted 50 times because there's one for every major city in the world, I would put money on the fact that there is not actually a sad little desk and empty chair just waiting for one of the many unemployed Americans to fill it.

2) Let's say that you find your way through the ordeal and you wind up with an offer.  Don't pop the champagne just yet.  The background investigations can take as little as 3-6 months, or as long as up to 18-24months... and the kicker is that, in some cases, if they cannot complete your investigation before your start date, more than likely your offer is rescinded.

That's what we're dealing with TLFers... I'm not saying that I don't still want it, I'm not saying that I'm so disenchanted with the process that I'm boycotting it, but I am saying I don't like it... and I'm grateful to at least have a informed overview of the situation so I can plan my next move(s).

And in reference to the title of this post... I have caught up on most of the 'Jersey Shore' since I've been back in the U.S. and it is a classic car wreck... awful, but I can't look away ^_^